Jingle Bills

Guess what? It's almost Christmas! Even though Christmas now starts as soon as someone pulls that wishbone out of the turkey's ass, we still need to act ready and excited for all that this time of the year brings us. We still need to respect and honor consumerism in it's red and green bow-tied boxes and gift bags and we need to sacrifice our sanity and hard earned cash to by gifts for those we don't like because it's expected of us. I wish there was a movie called "Like Larry", where a kid finds a pair of magical pair of Campers and learns how to socially assassinate any and all situations that he or she comes across. Don't like that sweater I bought you BOOM I'll take it back and wear it myself, yeah it's a girl's sweater, so what, I respect the person who bought it, so I'm going to wear it. I'd see that movie. Larry David probably wouldn't, but that's his deal not mine. Unless he asked me not to see that movie with him, in which case I would absolutely do nothing with Larry instead of doing something without him, that's the true meaning of Christmas. I'm just going to put that out there.